Hell's Kitchen
Sitting in a pigeon hole with 200 pigeons and listening to a man who speaks english as well as as a tribal man in a place where missionaries havent reached yet. I am speaking about the new Java classes that I have joined. Out of the 200 students 199 of them wear slippers. The concept of shoes hasnt dawned on them. Students, obviously, havent heard of deodorants either. I am forced to use 1 whole bottle!!!. You think movies have an effect on todays youth? One look at my class and you will know what I am talking about.
Getting to the class is one interesting story. Its almost 10 kilometers from my place but seems to be a perpetual journey. It is very easy to find your way to the institution-Naresh Technologies*. When the road is full of bumps and you drive so that you hit the smallest bump you know are getting close to it. If that sign wasnt enough then you cant miss the pandemonium on the road. It is like there are no traffic rules and the more you honk the richer you get.
After you have finally reached the institution alive they make you wait outside the class until all the 200 students are present. And then when all of them are there, they let you in hoping that few students get killed in the stampede. If you are the lucky one who made it to the class then the ordeal hasnt finished yet. You have to bare the smell of sweat which could easily lead to ones unconsciousness. If you have survived that also then you are a tough guy(all gals are dead by now) but theres no way you can escape the next attack-the lecturer's english. If he has to compare 2 different things then he will say "x is drastically different from y" I ask why drastically!!!. He also once said and I quote "x is independent on y".
Having paid Rs 5000 I was expecting enough room to spread my legs but Naresh Tech. beats you again. You have to sit in a chair and no tables provided you have to keep the books on your legs. Anyone who has clautrophobia is sure to die( See they are trying very hard to control our country's population). And if you are late you have to sit in the last rows from were you cant see anything. It would be wise if you get a binoculars along with you if you are going to get late. So, after they have tried everything to kill you they finally let you go but not before promising to return back the next day.
Getting back home isnt an easy task either. You again have to bare the chaos on the roads.....Miss the bumps.....Honk cause everyone is.....Save your life and get back home.
After I am home,it looks like heaven to me, I think about the classmates and wonder are these people going to be the next batch of software engineers and I shudder I dont even want to imagine them as software engineers. Now I will take rest I have been through a lot for the day. Wish me luck people so that I am able to post more posts (huh?).
*Name not changed because no one requested.
AND IT RAINED
And it rained.
No I am not going to write about the incessant rains in Mumbai. I am talking about the latest movie by Suneel Darshan "Barsaat". Ya I saw the movie. Me and my cousin(Younus) controlled ourselves very hard not to commit suicide(yeah it was that bad you have to watch it to believe me). Earlier Indians used to ape the Hollywood but these days they take a story from there and then screw it up so bad that the audience contemplate suicide. As is the tradition, all the Bollywood movies draw there inspiration( polite word for copy) from the west this is no different. After 5 mins of the movie you realize that it is a cheap( I am still being polite) imitation of Sweet Home Alabama. The director thinks that if he gives the role of Reese Witherspoon to Bobby Deol one cant make out the obvious similarity between the two movies.
So first things first BMW is owned by Bipasha's Grandfather( played by Shakti "Couch" Kapoor)!!!!. And I always thought that BMW is a German company. Thank you, Mr. Darshan, for improving my general knowledge. Even though Bipasha was very kind to the producers by not wearing any clothes, they still wanted to pass off South Africa as USA. Bips falls in love with Bobby (is she blind or what) the first time she sees him. Obviously Bobby has no interest in Bips because he wants to make it big in the Car Manufacturing business and not because he is already married to Priyanka. Anyways, Bobby after much persuading (for 5 mins) falls in love with Bips...blah ...blah...blah Prinyaka and Bobby live happily everafter.
Since the story sucks( polite) so bad I dont want to bore you people with that. I will just point out a few interesting points in the movie.
- Bobby designs the latest BMW named Z4 in a few days and that too all alone.
- Bobby's brother has a 4 year old kid but he doesnt know anything about intimacy.
- Bipasha was keen on showing her long legs( thats the only part that kept me from committing suicide).
- Albeit Bips grandpa owns BMW she drives a Ferrari, Mitsubishi.... I think its against company policy to drive there own cars.
- Bobby goes to a boarding school where they keep him for ten years( thats what they do to bad boys).
- Priyanka's dialogue " mera business mein ek sleeping partner hain jo unfortunately doesnt want to sleep with me". Huh??
- If it rains(Barsaat) you are tempted to make love. Huh????!@#@!$@!
Priyanka has gone nuts i think, I wonder what made her sign this movie. Coming to the title of the movie Barsaat a sublime love story there is nothing sublime in the story everything happens openly. I guess Suneel Darshan doesnt know English. Julius Ceaser's assassination was called a sublime tragedy me going and watching that movie can also be called that.
What we can expect next is a remake of Godfather but there is a twist in the story this time Bipasha will be playing Marlon Brondo's role . Thank God he is dead otherwise he would have committed suicide. This is the second time( my maths is poor) I am using the word suicide I guess you get the idea how bad ( polite ) the movie is.
Bottom line the movie sucks dont even think of watching it.
Take care.
MY SCHOOL
This my first blog its sounds so cliched...Anyways I have a lot of free time (like all the bloggers) so I thought why not utilize this time and the knowledge I have(I tend to lie a lot) gained over the years, 22 to be precise, to enlighten people ( fingers crossed ). And as I was wondering what to write about I realized that I had writers block...yiipppe I am a writer now...So I thought I would follow the advice given by Sean Connery in the movie Finding Forrester "start punching the damn keys and the ideas will start to flow" it worked fine for the guy in the movie but it didnt work for me I guess it works only when Mr. Connery tells you that in person in his Irish accent. Oh I am deviating from the topic ohhh I dont have a topic so let me think of a topic...thinking...drinking....drunk...thinking no more.No I wont apologise for the bad jokes I make alright alright I will ..sorry....I think I will write about my school All Saints' High School.
It is a catholic school were the Brother(Principal) used to carry a cane which he never hesitated to use. But I luuuuuuuuv my school. It was a boys school but eventually the year that I left (99), it was made coed(talk about bad luck). Gals where never a problem because till 6th standard we were never interested in them and from 7th when we got to know the pleasures we had a Convent School for girls as our neighbour, you see God is kind. This is not the only reason why I love my school others being teachers(no not that way you perverts), friends, canteen, play grounds etc.My school is some 150 years old and has a tradition of producing good humans, no not good, great humans. Here I would like to tell you that Md. Azharuddin was a student of this great institution. When I asked him what he thinks about the school he had this to say"You know the boys played well, they batted well...." and then I told him "No no am talking about the school so he said "Ya the boys played well...." am sure he bunked his hindi classes!!!
Canteen was amazing esp. the ragda was out of this world even though there was more water in the ragda than in the river Nile ...and whenever there was water scarcity in Hyderabad,which is almost daily, people would come and buy the ragda. Well I guess you start to like something if thats the only thing thats offered. Having said that I still love that ragda.
Lets talk about friends...what would life be without them....heaven I guess hehe just kidding...when you were in school you never thought before making friends you know like we do today(will he treat me today,how many gfs does he have...) now dont act as if you have no idea I am talking about. In school times they were no strings attached. And its said that the school friends that you make are true and last forever(as if they are some medicine which has no expiry date) and I was lucky to have made mannnyyy friends some useful and some useless(all my best friends come in this category). Even though I was not Mr. Popular I had many friends( I guess they were intimidated by me and didnt want to be in my bad books remember wat I told about me being a liar). Some of the best friends that I have are from school I dont want to name them because if I even miss one all will kick my arse.
Teachers were good but as we came to the end of the schooling we troubled them a lot. We used to do all kinda crazy things. Getting canned by the Principal was a daily routine for our class. Some of the crazy things we did were throwing bits of eraser on teachers, making humming sound( if the whole class does it, its very irritating). Alright people thats it for this time if I keep talking about my school there is no end and hey believe in yourself and nothing else matters
Take Care
P.S : do leave a comment
